My cellmate Carrol has been such a pain this week. She’s flirting with my guard and touching my stuff.

No, you pervs, I mean she’s taking what few things I’ve managed to keep. I took an hour of “hard labor” to convince the Warden to let me keep my makeup kit, and I don’t share anything with anyone.

 I don’t, like, hate Carrol but she’s really getting on my nerves.