Camille Leon’s Blog

Things didn’t go quite like I had planned.

My disguise was good enough to get me in the door, but apparently he had stalked this girl better than we thought. When I guessed pink as her favorite color and Clueless as her favorite movie he must have suspected I was a fake.

Which in itself is odd, because no one expects a shapeshifter.

Anyway, he had some sort of portable DNA scanner that he made from a vacuum cleaner or something, and I was busted.

So he captured me hoping that he could get a ransom. Unfortunately, it seems none of my so called friends liked me enough to pay.

When Monique found out what happened, she went to Kim – but Kim was still on house arest and couldn’t do anything even if she wanted to. Eventually my constant complaining drove Frugal nuts, so he let me go last night.

I broke the news to GJ this morning, and man are they not happy. But the good news is, they raided Frugal’s HQ once I was out, and while they didn’t catch his, they did secure most of his equipment.

Anyway, I have to get back to Middleton and find Monique. She has Debutante and I’ve missed her so much.

So I’ve been working with GJ to keep the internet working.

They don’t know anything about my involvement with Kim’s current predicament, but they’ve offered me a pardon for my past thefts if I can deliver Frugal to them.

Apparently Frugal’s weakness, like all men, is a woman. More specifically, a girl he “dated” (I think it was more like stalked) back in High School. I’m going to use my shape-shifting ability to disguise myself as her and get close to Frugal. It’ll only take a couple days, it’ll make Monique happy, it will save the internet, I won’t be a fugitive anymore, AND I can rub it all in Kim’s face!

So like, I don’t know if anybody’s noticed but we’ve been having some technical issues with the website lately.

I talked to Wade and even he’s not sure what’s going on, but he says it’s affecting more than just me.

Ever sense Kim’s been l on house arrest, there’s been a spike in internet disruptions.

Even Drakken called in to complain!

Apparently GJ thinks it’s Frugal Lucre making trouble again, but they can’t locate him. Monique thinks I should help them, but I don’t know… it seems like a big risk to take just to keep the internet working.

Kim was released on bail yesterday.

It doesn’t look too good for her. She has no evidence that the Seniors where ever at the LA Club. The camera’s might have recorded something, but the storage unit was not recording properly. And with Wayne distracted, Kim doesn’t have a call in to him with video of the Seniors in it. There where people in the club, but no one can seem to remember anything. Even I’m starting to wonder if they where ever there!

Anyway, as part of her release she’s not allowed to leave Middleton until the trial, which means no more missions for quite a while. It’s a good time to be a villain.

I’d love to stay and chat, but I have a plane to catch. I’m going to a fashion show in Paris.

Kim is in jail.

Yes, you heard me right. Today she reached her breaking point. SSJ and Bonnie where partying in NYC and they ended up taking everyone hostage or something. Junior’s dad was involved and said something about “doing it right this time” or something. Not important. Anyway, Kim and Ron got there eventually, after missing their connecting flight and having to parachute into the city. When they got there, Kim snuck in thought he air vents while Ron led the SWAT team around the back. After Kim dropped down into the middle of the room and unlocked the outer doors, Bonnie made a snide remark about Kim’s helmate hair and that was all it took. The cops busted in to see Kim wailing on Bonnie and SSJ & SSS nowhere to be seen.

So yeah, Kim’s in jail awaiting a hearing on assault charges.

Team Possible is literally imploding. Monique’s continued seduction of Wade has lead to his abandoning many of his duties as Kim’s tech guy. Kim has gotten more and more irritable as more and more villains escape. Ron’s getting nervous just being around her, ’cause she’s starting to snap at everyone.

And I’m like, not even doing anything any all. Well, I’m still sleeping with Monique but I don’t count that as work, ya know?

So Kim had a mission today. Wade beeped her at school ’cause Dementor was up to something – whatever. Anyway, he mixed up the latitude and longitude thanks to Monique distracting him via webcam so Kim and Ron ended up stranded 300 miles from their target and they crashed a Nursing home thinking it was Dementor’s lair. By the time Wade cleared up the mess, Dementor had left his lair and Kim was seriously pissed.

Having Monique mad at her is really screwing with Kim’s head. She’s gone on three missions this week and the villain’s escaped every time. It’s worse than when she tore her mission clothes. And even worse for Kim, Monique got her fired from Club Banana!

And at my urging, Monique’s been acting flirty with Wade, which is just pissing Kim off even more because Wade’s constantly distracted.

This is my kind of revenge, all I have to do is go shopping with Monique during the day and Kim’s falling apart!

Earlier today Kim and Ron where having a lunch date at Bueno Nacho when Monique and myself went by. Over the past few days Monique and myself have become inseperable, and at Monique’s suguestion I’ve discuised myself as her cousin Neema from out of town. Anyway, Kim saw Monique and called us over to her table. Monique introduced me as her cousin and Kim and Ron introduced themselves while I strugled to keep my cool. And then Ron this comment “Neema you’re just as cute as Monique; of course no where near as cute as my girl Kim here.”

And then, it happened. Monique lost her cool for a moment, but that’s all it took: “Or Yori I suppose?”

Kim’s eyes went wide. “How did you find out about that?” she demanded. Monique just rolled her eyes and replied, “Well, you certainly didn’t tell me. And I though we best friends.” Kim replied “We are Monique, it’s just, hard. It wasn’t really Yori, and it wasn’t all Ron’s fault. But I’m not ready to talk about it.” Monique wasn’t satisfied with that response and replied “Yeah I get it. Miss she can do anything doesn’t trust me anymore. Come on let’s go Neema.” And with that, we left.

This is going even better than I expected.

So I showed up at Monique’s house yesterday disguised as Yori. She answered the door holding a baseball bat.

Monique: I know it’s you Camille. Kim does tell me things.
Me: Oh. I thought she’d be too embarrassed to tell you about it, especially with Ron cheating on her.
Monique: Ron did what!?

At which point she dropped the bat.

Me: Yeah, he was totally into Yori. But can you blame him? So where you.
Monique: Yeah but-

At this point, I just went for it and kissed her. She gave up fighting and I moved us both inside.

Monique: Wow. That was amazing. Even better than the first time. But you’re still not Yori. And I can’t like Camille
Me: It’s okay Monique, I can be any one you want me to be.

At this point, I had to make a choice. I could reach for the bat and try to knock her out so I could take her place, or I could try to seduce her and turn her to my side. I chose the latter. I reverted to my normal form.

Me: I know you like Yori’s body, but I know it’s really Kim that you want. I can give you that.

And with that, I assumed the form of my rival, and Monique’s eyes went wide.

Monique: That is amazing Kim- Camille.
Me: Call me Kim, I don’t mind.

I did mind, but was willing to forget it until my revenge was complete.

***

This morning when I awoke in Monique’s bed, I was back in my normal form and Monique was still laying next to me. It had been quite a night. It will take a while to turn her against Kim, but she’s already feeling resentful toward Kim, and that’s a very good start.